Bleach makes ants go bye bye


“This ant pandemic on our counter is really getting out of hand. It’s like the counter itself is moving.” – Brice

“… hey! Do you think bleach would work on ants?” -Bry

“No. I sprayed an ant and it didn’t even stop moving.”

“When was that?”

“Last week.”

“Well… I’ll try it anyway. I can’t think of anything else we can do right now.”

I leave the room to get the bleach spray bottle from the bathroom. I hear Brice say to Nubia in a cootchie-coo voice: “Your mommy is going to go make a fool of herself. Yes, she is.”


I spray the two holes in our kitchen wall from which the ants are launching their full-scale invasion of our home, with a good dousing of bleach. Within seconds, no ants are entering or exiting the holes. “I think it’s working! They won’t go near the bleach!”

“It’s probably just temporary.”



“Did those ants ever come back?” -Bry

“Uh… no?” -Brice

“Oh really? So I really made a fool of myself, didn’t I Nubia?” Nubia remained supportively silent. But we all know whose side she’s on.

Lesson learned: bleach makes ants go bye-bye.
(postscript: after reading this blog out loud to Brice he adds: “I still don’t think that’s true.”)

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